'I Can't Win' - the tribulation of creation
Hey there friend,
I've another song for you today. I hope you enjoy!
And as always, email Pete and I - let us know what you think.
This song touches on the difficulty of creating. And I think back to my journey of learning to create something that 'impacted people'.
Have you ever pushed a lot of effort into something? Anything from inviting a couple of friends out for drinks, cooking a meal, to making a full blown piece of art, a big event, you name it!
It's a vulnerable place to be, isn't it? What if it impacts people the wrong way? What if they hate it? What if you sink all your energy into it, only to be ultimately unsatisfied with the result?
If this resonates with you, I'd love to share my backstory of learning to create music and lyrics:
There was only one local band playing when I was in school and they didn’t want to be in a band with me. I remember a couple of guys in the band said learn 'My Iron Lung' by Radiohead and "if you're any good we’ll have you in the band". I spent ages learning it, but when I went round theirs to play, the guitar they gave me was missing a top e string and a lot of the riff requires that string... So I tried and failed to play it, and they said ‘you’re rubbish’ and took the guitar off me.
It was only when moving to London at 18 that I met like-minded people to form a band with. I was obsessed with Keith Richards at the time and I wanted to be a guitar player who wrote songs! Then, as I was forming my first band, I couldn’t find a singer and the people I was playing with said 'they liked my voice' as it was 'earnest and honest'. So I ended up fronting the band.
As soon as I moved to London, I went to open mic nights and jams almost every night to hone my craft, get myself out there and meet other musicians. I started performing at poetry club Y Tuesday, I was regularly the guest musician at the end of the night, there I met John Hassall the bass player of The Libertines. I put together illustrated lyric books of my songs that I sold at shows. I lived opposite The Wheelbarrow pub, which was very much a coming of age time - meeting bands in the bar, lock ins, parties, performing dj sets and playing gigs.
After a lot of hard work, a lot of despairing, a lot of fun, things started coming together. In the last couple of years we signed to indie label Trapped Animal Records, toured with people like The Libertines, Edwyn Collins, and Frank Turner, playing venues like Paris L’Olympia and London Palladium, playing live on BBC6 Music, and collaborating with artists I’ve admired for years.
I went from being told I was 'rubbish', to being told I was 'good', to where I am now; where no-one can tell me whether I'm good or bad. I know I have something to give, regardless.
If you've had a bumpy journey finding your strength, the best way to express yourself, and 'putting it out there', this one's for you!
Thank you for being here,